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In the not-to-distant future,
In Angel Grove, CA,
The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers
Were enjoying a quiet day.
Just sitting around in the park
When suddenly the sky went dark.
Lord Zedd ripped a hole in time and space,
And then the putties came and kicked them all
Into another plaaaace!
Zedd: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics,
"The worst I can find,
"They'll have to sit and read them all,
"And it oughtta blow their minds!"
Now Zordon and Alpha search and scan
For Tommy and his friends.
They'll have to keep their sanity
Until the fanfics end!
Ranger Roll Call!
Tommy! ("I'm the leader!")
Billy! ("Affirmative!")
The New Guys! ("HEY!")
Kiiiiim! ("I'm PINK!")
If you're wondering why adults don't know,
Or other plotline facts,
Repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
"I should really just relax!"
For Mystery Ranger Theater 3000!
"So, what're we gonna do today, Billy?" Kim asked, a grin dancing across
her face. Billy returned the expression.
"The same thing we do every day, Kimberly. Try to escape this dimension!"
The other Rangers, all used to this exchange, simply rolled their eyes.
"Great, genius," Rocky broke in sarcastically. "Any ideas HOW?"
Billy sighed. "A few, but most of them depend on having my lab. I'm
still working on it, okay?"
Coming out of the "kitchen" of their dimensional prison, Tommy clapped
a hand on the Blue Ranger's shoulder. "Hey, we know that, man. Nobody thinks
you're giving this anything less than your best. We'll make it."
"That's right," Aisha broke in. "And don't forget, Zordon and Alpha
are scanning for us! They'll find us eventually."
Adam nodded as he joined the group, exiting their "bathroom," a wet
towel draped around his neck. "Right. Remember, Aisha got out of here once-
well, sort of."
"Adam," Billy commented, "did you know you're not wearing a shirt,
and Aisha is beginning to drool?"
"BILLY!" The Yellow Ranger protested, as her shy teammate quickly grabbed
a shirt and pulled it on, blushing feverishly.
Suddenly the lights began flashing, the signal that their jailer, Lord
Zedd, was attempting to contact them. Moving over to the comm, Billy flicked
the machine on.
"Well, my color-coded pests!" Zedd sneered. "Have you succumbed to
fear and despair yet?"
The Rangers exchanged glances, and Tommy shrugged. "Not so that we've
noticed," he replied.
"Although I spent an hour or so in the bathroom after that last lemon,"
Rocky chimed in. "Does that help?"
"I'll take nausea if I can get it. But things won't be so easy for
you this time! I have here a little gem that is CERTAIN to leave a bad
taste in your mouths! Yet another masterpiece by April Richards! And this
time- YOU ALL DIE! I think it's a masterpiece. Goldar! Send them the fic!"
"Yes, Master," the gold monkey replied. The lights in the dimension
began to flash, and Tommy glared upwards.
"WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
<Rangers file into the theater and take their seats.>
TOMMY: We've survived April Richards fics before, guys.
ROCKY: And you gotta admit, she can do sex scenes!
KIM: Until you've seen YOUR avatar bumping and grinding up there, I
don't wanna hear anything out of you.
> FUTURE RANGERS
> By: April Michelle Richards (Hoshiko466@aol.com)
ADAM: I have a bad feeling about this...
AISHA: Shouldn't that be Hoshiko_666_?
> Evil had finally won.
BILLY: Well, that's succinct.
> Lord Zedd finally used his ceaseless
> horde of monsters and putty patrollers to overwhelm the young
> Rangers.
ADAM: "Ceaseless horde?" That doesn't even make SENSE!
>During the final Battle Royale,
TOMMY: If I see ONE Super-Deformed Idea, I walk.
KIM: Where to?
> the Rangers were
> picked off one by one. First Billy, then Adam and Rocky, next was
> Aisha, and then Kimberly, who died in Tommy's arms. The White
> Ranger was the last one standing.
ROCKY: The winner of this year's Iron Man competition, the White Ranger!
BILLY: I find this very disturbing. All our avatars have perished inside
of the first ten sentences.
AISHA: Look at the bright side- they're out of this fanfic.
> And, he didn't stand for
> long. He was emotionally and physically beaten. Goldar taunted
> the weary Ranger, drawing out his death.
> "Kneel before me, White Ranger, and acknowledge your
> defeat." Goldar waved his stained sword in the air.
TOMMY: This seems very familiar, somehow.
> Tommy gritted his teeth. He had one weapon left, a small, but
> powerful grenade. With a silent prayer, he gathered his strength
> for a final assault. Then, he launched himself into the air, using
> the last of his Powers. He wrapped his arms around Goldar and
> pulled the pin out of the grenade. A bright light exploded from
> the weapon, distingrating Goldar.
> _Kim, I love you!_ Tommy thought as the grenade detonated.
> _May we be together soon._ The gold space monkey's body
> shielded Tommy from the worst of the blast, but he still
> sustained fatal wounds. He sighed as he felt a cool sensation
> surround his body and was teleported to the Command Center.
ROCKY: Wow, this fanfic MUST be bad. Tommy suicided inside of three
paragraphs!
TOMMY: I'm not laughing at this, Rocko.
> Alpha-5 removed Tommy's helmet. The White Ranger smiled
> softly at his robotic friend. The Command Center faded in and
> out of sight. Wait, was that Jason he saw standing there? No,
> impossible.
KIM: It was just a shirt someone had thrown over a chair.
> Jason, along with Zach and Trini had also died
> during the battles. Tommy blinked his watery eyes. Yes, he saw all
of
> his friends, alive and well, standing in a Command Center that
> seemed to shine with Holy Light.
<Rangers begin to hum the funeral march.>
> Kim smiled and held out her
> hand to Tommy.
> _Come on, Tommy!_ Aisha encouraged.
> Tommy seemingly floated to his friends. They welcomed him
> with open arms.
> _Welcome aboard, Bro._ Jason slapped him on the back.
> Kim threw her arms around him and kissed him full on the
> mouth. Tommy no longer felt sore and tired. He was Home with his
> friends.
ADAM: And gratuitous capitalization.
> An oily tear fell from Alpha's optical sensor and splashed
> onto Tommy's now peaceful face. His large, dark eyes were closed
> and he was smiling.
AISHA: <As Tommy> I LIKE having my guts blown out!
> PLACE HIM IN THE CHAMBER WITH THE OTHER RANGERS, ALPHA.
> Zordon's voice choked with unshed tears. THEY HAVE EARNED THEIR
> REST. The coming years would be dark and lonely for both the
> interdementional being and the little robot.
> * * * *
> On the moon, Lord Zedd and his wife Rita Replussa celebrated
KIM: Rita Replussa jeans. For the full-figured sorceress.
> their victory. Only Scorpina shed any tears for Goldar. She
> boldly faced her leaders.
> "My Lord, My Empress, who will be your henchman now, since
> Goldar is now gone?" Scorpina asked. Her eyes were swollen from
> crying.
> "We will replace him with... Hmm..." Zedd scanned the
> earth. Bulk and Skull had left the shelters, looking for evidence
of the
> Power Rangers' identities. "Those two will do nicely. Bulkor
> and Skultron arise!"
ALL: WHAT?
BILLY: Oh, good grief! Even Zedd would not be THAT desperate.
ROCKY: Or stupid.
ADAM: Well, he DID hire Goldar...
> Energy flowed from his staff and surrounded the two bullies.
> Bulk's normal tie dyed clothing was replaced by burnt orange,
> beetle-like armour that coated his entire body. A German, World
> War One-sque helmet covered the bully's head. Skull's "punk"
> outfit became a black, PVC body suit dripping with chains and
> spikes. A metal skull mask encased his head. Zedd's evil power
> filled them, erasing their memories as Farkus "Bulk" Bulkmeier
> and Eugene "Skull" Skullovitch, the "baddest dudes" of Angel
> Grove High School. Then, the pair vanished from the earth.
> * * * *
> That day, the town of Angel Grove that they had not only
> lost the Power Rangers, but eleven of their teenagers as well,
AISHA: Huh?
BILLY: I call no spelling or grammar flames from here on, or we'll
be here all night.
> who had been caught up in the battles: Tommy Oliver, Kimberly
> Hart, Aisha Campbell, Adam Park, Rocky de Santos, Billy Cranston,
> Jason Lee Scott, Trini Kwan, Zach Taylor, Eugene Skullovitch, and
> Farkus Bulkmeier. There was nothing left of the teens' bodies
> to bury, but the families managed to salvage the few scraps of
> clothing and personal items, such as Kimberly's favorite mirror,
> Jason's Master's Belt, Zach's "boom box," being among the
> momentos interred in a casket and placed in a tomb engraved with
> their names. Another monument, a statue of a Ranger standing
> battle ready yet clutching a lily in one hand, created by a young
> lady named Violet, in memory of the fallen Power Rangers, was
> laid to rest next to the teens' memorial.
KIM: So... we're dead, Zedd won. Does that mean the fic is over?
TOMMY: If we could only be so lucky.
> * * * *
> In the years that passed, Lord Zedd ruled the earth with an
> iron fist, renaming it Planet Bane.
ADAM: Zedd had developed a thing for Batman comics.
> The evil lord disolved the
> governments, replacing them with his own puppet ones. Schools
> were outlawed. In their place, one university educated a select
> few, wealthy, loyal humans, who were used to control the rest of
> the population. All other forms of expression, including art and
> religion rounded out the bannings.
AISHA: My God, he's a Communist!
ADAM: Jack Bannings?
TOMMY: Why does that name sound so familiar?
> But, despite the laws
> criminalizing them and the severe punishments imposed upon those
> who invoked them, Zedd couldn't erase heroic image of the Power
> Rangers from the memories of the people. They survived as
> legends, immortalized in the scraps of articles and photos that
> weathered the years.
> Ten thousand years passed and Zedd still retained command.
> One dark, rainy day in the mountains near what used to be the
> town of Angel Grove, now called Urami,
TOMMY: "Bitterness." Cute.
BILLY: Tommy, I didn't know you spoke Japanese.
TOMMY: Neither did I!
> a fifteen year old boy sat
> by a lake, playing his flute. He had long dark hair, pulled back
> into a ponytail and big brown eyes framed with long lashes. He
> had the slender, well toned body of an athlete, clothed in a
> ragged pair of white shorts.
TOMMY: AHHH! I've been CLONED!
> His name was Alejandro Oriibaa.
> Sitting next to him was a fourteen year old, petite beauty named
> Kiko Kokoro.
KIM: You're not the only one...
TOMMY: "Heartchild Crane." Sounds like a soap opera character.
> She wore expensive clothes, since her family was
> wealthy. She and Alejandro were not dating, yet were more than
> just friends.
ROCKY: They had casual sex on weekends.
ALL: ROCKY!
> Suddenly, a blonde haired with wire-rimmed glasses boy ran
> up to them. A dark-skinned girl and two other guys followed him.
> The other young teens were dressed in worn out clothes that were
> not as ragged as Alejandro's.
AISHA: And here come the rest of us.
> "Ookami, what's wrong?" Kiko asked.
> "Look what I found!" Ookami Aohoshi,
TOMMY: "Wolf Bluestar?" Gee, wonder who that is.
> the youngest of the
> group at twelve, displayed a yellowed book.
> "Oh, kewl. Where did you find it?" Alejandro flipped
> through it. Unlike most of the people of Urami, Alejandro
> and his friends could read and write with some degree of skill.
ADAM: And, of course, are incredibly good martial artists, quite clean and attractive, and have impeccable dental care.
> "In my house. The in "garage," I think it was once
> called." Ookami laughed. Ookami, Mikazuki, Seijaku, and
> Koomoriko lived in the city of Urami. The pristine sky
> scrapers and businesses were gone. In their place were
> low adobe houses and cottages
> made from driftwood. Derelict buildings were interspersed
> through out the city. Kiko lived in the subburg in what had been
> the Harte mansion.
ROCKY: Gee, who's surprised?
> Alejandro, the poorest member, lived in a
> tiny log cabin by a lake.
> "Alejandro, didn't you say that you found something like
> that once in your cabin?" Koomoriko Ootsuki, a thirteen year
> old girl with skin the color of cocoa, interjected.
AISHA: I knew I wouldn't get out of this so easily.
TOMMY: "Batchild Bigmoon?" What are you, Barbara Gordon?
> "Yeah, I still have it. C'mon." Alejandro lead his friends
> into the small cabin. He dashed into his bedroom and returned
> with an old diary.
> Seijaku Chong, a fourteen year old Korean boy, opened the
> old diary. He skimmed through it quickly, comparing it to
> Ookami's find.
TOMMY: "Silence." Yeah, he's supposed to be Adam all right.
ADAM: Tommy, you're flunking SPANISH. This is beginning to scare me.
> "Well," Mikazuki, a fourteen year old Hispanic boy,
> demanded. "What are they?"
ROCKY: That's me? Don't tell me what my name means, Tommy. It's probably not that flattering.
> "They're the Power Rangers' diaries. This one belonged to
> Tommy Oliver, the White Ranger. He also used to be the Green
> Ranger. And, Ookami's was Billy Cranston's. He was the Blue
> Ranger." Seijaku's voice was hushed. "They talk about a Command
> Center and, here's a map and a picture that Tommy drew."
KIM: Of course we, being SO concerned with secrecy, would set down every bit of our information on the location of our headquarters.
> Alejandro looked at the map. "This isn't too far from here.
> It's on the other side of the ridge. So, that's the building I can
> see from my secret place." He mused.
TOMMY: Rocky, if you even LOOK like you're going to take this one, I will hurt you.
> "What should we do?" Kiko asked.
> "Well, according to law, we'd have to hand these over to Lord
> Zedd's minions. You know that anything dealing with the Power
> Rangers is illegal." Ookami said.
> "No." Alejandro said in his whispery voice. "If we turn
> these over, they'll be destroyed. I say we find this Command
> Center."
> "But, Alejandro, if Bulkor and Skultron catch us, we'll be
> punished." Mikazuki pointed out.
AISHA: This is a fanfic. You can say "killed," you know.
> "Yeah, but if we make it to the Command Center, maybe we can
> help bring the Rangers back." Alejandro's eyes glowed with
> eagerness. "We can pack supplies and be on our way before night
> fall."
> "Okay." Seijaku agreed.
> "Yeah."
> "Count me in."
> "Alright."
> "Affirmative."
BILLY: Oh brother.
> * * * *
> Unbeknownst to the teens, two sets of eyes watched them as
> they planned their hike.
> "Bulkor, Skultron, come here!" Zedd yelled from his
> throne.
> The two minions bumbled in, crashing together in a heap of
> armor. "Yes, my Lord?"
ADAM: <Shakes his head.> Who saw this coming?
<All raise hands.>
> "Those teens have found two of the diaries that belonged to
> the Power Rangers and now, they're planning to go to the Command
> Center!"
> "And?" Bulkor asked.
> "AND?! I want you two knuckleheads to stop them!!! Take
> down your blasted Putties and get those children!!!"
> "Yes, my Lord." The villains turned and tried to walk out
> of the throne room together. They slammed into each other again.
> "Skultron, get out of my way!"
> Zedd lowered his head and sighed. "There are times I
> actually miss Goldar. And, this is one of them."
KIM: Hah hah!
> * * * *
> The other set of eyes belonged to a massive head that floated
> in a column of energy. Zordon and Alpha had managed to hide the
> Command Center from Lord Zedd after the Rangers' deaths.
ROCKY: Sure, it's only a couple THOUSAND square feet, in the middle of the desert. You can hide it from a guy in orbit, no problem!
> They
> spent the lonely millenniums repairing the damaged Zords,
> restoring full Power to all six of the Ninjetti Power Coins, and
> mourning the lost Rangers. Zordon had loved them like they were
> his children. In a way they were.
<Rangers all shift uncomfortably>
ROCKY: I've got a BAD feeling about this...
> _FRANCIS BACON SAID THAT "IN PEACE SONS BURY THEIR FATHERS
> AND IN WAR THE FATHERS BURY THEIR SONS."_ Zordon thought as he
> watched the young people in the viewing globe.
> He and Alpha had managed to make recordings of the Rangers
> when they were just being plain teenagers. These recordings were
> the only thing that comforted Zordon at times, when the aching
> loneliness became too much to bear. He watched and remembered.
> Tommy and Kim on their first date, Zach teaching a Hip Hop Kido
> class in the park, Jason and Tommy teaching Karate classes
> together, Billy's mishaps in his lab, Adam's sweet shy face
> lighting up when Dulcea kissed him, Rocky playing, Aisha and Kim
> shopping together, Trini and Billy studying together, even though
> Zordon suspected that the two were exchanging more than just
> technical information. The Rangers in the Youth Center, drinking
> juice shakes served by Ernie, Laughing, Happy, _Alive_. The
> Rangers studying together. Going to Tommy's uncle's cabin by the
> lake and swimming.
ALL: Ewww...
AISHA: Somehow, I never thought of Zordon as a peeping tom.
>They took pleasure in the simplest things in
> life, just being together was enough for a celebration for the
> Rangers. Zordon's massive face streaked with tears. God, he
> was so lonely.
> "Ai yi!" Alpha-5 exclaimed suddenly.
> WHAT IS WRONG, ALPHA?
BILLY: You mean BESIDES this entire fanfic?
KIM: And it might help if you didn't shout all the time.
> "Zordon, look at this." Alpha pointed to the viewing globe.
> The Rangers were replaced by a group of six teens hiking through
> the mountains. It was Alejandro and his friends.
> _COULD THEY BE THE ONES?_ Zordon asked himself.
TOMMY: Could the cable installers FINALLY be here?
> * * * *
> Alejandro led his friends deeper into the mountains as
> sunset stained the sky a deep rose.
> "Can we stop soon?" Kiko panted.
> "Soon. We're almost to my secret place. We can rest there
> for the night." Alejandro smiled. He was intimate with these
> mountains, having spent all of his life here.
ROCKY: Wow. Most people settle for just being intimate with-
KIM: Say it and die.
> Suddenly, Bulkor and Skultron appeared in front of the teens
> with their horde of putties.
> "You guys hold it right there!" Bulkor demanded.
> "Yeah, hold it right there!" Skultron echoed.
> "Sir Bulkor, Sir Skultron, what's wrong?" Alejandro asked.
> "Lord Zedd wants'cha." Skultron laughed.
> "Well, sirs, this is an honor we must decline since my
> friends and I are on a little nature hike. And, we want to be home
> before tomorrow." Alejandro smiled winsomely.
> "I'm sorry." Bulkor raised his hand. A foul smell wafted
> from underneath his beetle-like armor.
BILLY: Now, did we REALLY need to know that?
> "Putties, take them!"
> Putty Patrollers surrounded the teens As they steeled
> themselves for a battle they could not win, Zordon's voice echoed
> in their heads: MY YOUNG FRIENDS, LOOK INSIDE YOURSELVES AND
> CALL UPON THE GREAT POWER THAT RESIDES INSIDE YOU.
TOMMY: Excuse me? Zordon's a telepath?
KIM: This would have come in handy on a couple occasions.
> The air shimmered as each young person called upon the
> ancient Ninjetti spirits. Alejandro was the White Falcon, the nobel
AISHA: Peace Prize winner.
> warrior of the skies. Kiko was the Pink Crane, agile and full
> of life. Ookami was the Blue Wolf, cunning and swift. Seijaku was
> the Black Frog, a cheerful animal with hidden powers. Koomoriko
> was the Yellow Bear, a fierce, intuitive warrior. And, Mikazuki
> was the Red Ape, smart and powerful.
KIM: And yet, they've never been to Phaedos.
TOMMY: Have we?
BILLY: Don't ask that question unless you have a couple hours to discuss
alternate timelines.
>The teens were now clothed
> in Ninja outfits that matched their colors. A Power that the teens
> had never felt before filled them. Obeying an unheard command,
> they fell into Karate stances and dispatched the putties with
> surprising ease. Then, they faced off against Bulkor and
> Skultron, who ran away in fear.
> "This is so weird." Kiko said.
> "Yeah, HEY!" Alejandro yelped as he and his friends were
> encased in beams of colored light.
BILLY: This sounds familiar.
KIM: I seriously hope she doesn't start recycling dialogue.
> They landed in the Command Center in a heap.
> "What just happened?" Koomoriko cried.
> "Where are we?" Mikazuki looked around in shocked.
> "NO!" Seijaku cried when he looked at the symbol on his
> chest. "I can't believe it! I'm a frog!" The others laughed at
> the pained expression on his face. Seijaku pouted. "Don't
> laugh! I _hate_ frogs!"
ADAM: They're not real fond of you, either.
> Then, they heard a loud laugh behind them.
> "Who are you?" Alejandro gasped when he turned around and
> faced a giant, floating head.
> "Yikes!" Koomoriko and Kiko scurried behind Alejandro, who,
> at six feet one inch, was the tallest of the six.
> I AM ZORDON, MY FRIENDS. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE THE
> NEW POWER RANGERS. As Zordon spoke, Morphers appeared around the
> waists of the teens.
AISHA: Not like we're actually ASKING you, or anything.
> "Us?" Mikazuki's voice squeaked. "We don't know how to
> fight. The other Rangers trained from the time they were
> conceived and they couldn't beat Lord Zedd. How can we?"
KIM: Umm... Billy? We trained how long?
BILLY: Well... on and off...
> His friends echoed his concern.
> ZEDD'S VICTORY WAS A FLUKE. IF THE RANGERS HADN'T BEEN SO
> EXHAUSTED AT THAT TIME, THEY WOULD HAVE WON, BUT THEIR
> YOUNG BODIES BETRAYED THEM AT A CRITICAL MOMENT.
ROCKY: Yeah, but what a way to go!
> "Um, Mr. Zordon, sir, we're teenagers. Why won't the same
> thing happen to us?" Ookami asked.
> THE RANGERS WERE WORN OUT BY SCHOOL AND OTHER ACTIVITIES.
> SINCE ZEDD BANNED EDUCATION, YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO WORRY
> ABOUT ACTING NORMAL. THERE IS NO MORE NORMAL IN YOUR WORLD.
ADAM: Like "normal" and "Angel Grove" have ever been used in the same sentence.
> * * * *
> "Blast that infernal Zordon!" Zedd raged. He glowed an
> ominous shade of red. "And those losers, Bulkor and Skultron!"
> He slammed his fist down, emitting electric sparks. "Finster, make
> me a monster to destroy those "new" Power Rangers!"
KIM: Like this ever worked BEFORE?
> "Of course, my Lord. I have been using this time to study
> Earth's works of literature and I have found a most interesting
> creature from a fantasy novel called THE DARK CRYSTAL. It is
> known as the Skeksis." Finster show Zedd a large, vulture like
> creature with cruel claws and a hooked beak.
TOMMY: We are gonna get SO sued.
> "Very good. Skeksis, go and destroy those brats!"
> * * * *
> "Zordon, are you sure we can handle this. I mean, getting
> rid of Lord Zedd is a big responsibility." Alejandro said.
> WE HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU SINCE YOU WERE BORN, ALEJANDRO.
> YOU ARE THE ONES WHO WILL FREE THIS PLANET FROM ZEDD'S EVIL
> GRASP.
> Kiko blushed a faint pink. "_All_ of the time?" She asked.
> She wasn't too sure if she wanted this giant head watching her
> taking her bathes.
ROCKY: She preferred to invite Alejandro in for personal inspection.
KIM: Rocky, I'm warning you now.
> DO NOT WORRY, KIKO, ALPHA AND I USED DISCRETION. Zordon
> chuckled.
> "Uh, we?" Ookami looked around. Then, he saw Alpha-5 for
> the first time.
> "Oh, how cute!" Koomoriko squealed. She and Kiko gathered
> around the tiny robot.
> Alpha laughed.
> ALPHA, WE MUST GIVE THE NEW RANGERS THEIR NINJA ZORDS.
> THERE WILL BE TIME FOR TALKING LATER.
> "Ninja Zords?" Mikazuki raised an eyebrow. This whole deal
> was getting better and better.
AISHA: Yeah, now you get to die INSIDE a big can!
> "Yes, the Ninja Zords allow you to fight against Lord Zedd's
> giant monsters. Please, let me show you on the viewing globe."
> Alpha pointed what looked like a giant crystal ball to the teens.
> Inside, they could see footage taken from the battles of the
> original Rangers. They were facing off with Hornitor in space.
> The Mega Ninja Zord kicked the monster in groin and all of the
> guys in the Command Center crossed their legs. Then, the monster
was
> destroyed by the Zords.
> "Wow!" Seijaku's eyes were wide. "And we're gonna control
> that thing?"
> "Awesome." Alejandro sighed.
TOMMY: Is anyone else frightened by the fact that none of these kids have DRIVER'S licenses?
> WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! The alarm echoed through out the
> Command Center. The new Rangers covered their ears and ducked. Just
in
> case. They exchanged wide eyed looks.
> ZEDD HAS SENT DOWN SKEKSIS. THIS CREATURE HAS A RAZOR LIKE
> BEAK AND CLAWS THAT CAN CUT THROUGH METAL. BECAREFUL, RANGERS.
ROCKY: I thought they were the Power Rangers.
BILLY: What did I say about grammar?
> "Shall we?" Ookami looked at the new leader of the Power
> Rangers.
> "Right. IT'S MORPHIN TIME!!!"
> THE FALCON!
> THE FROG!
> THE CRANE!
> THE WOLF!
> THE BEAR!
> THE APE!
RANGERS: THE HORROR!
> * * * *
> Skeksis slashed through a low adobe building, sending the
> residents of Urami running into the streets. It had been ten
> thousand years since Angel Grove had experienced a monster
> attack, but the terror returned like it had only been yesterday.
> :Stupid mortals, you will pay for angering Lord Zedd!:
> Skeksis snarled from his five hundred foot height.
ROCKY: How do you speak in semi-colons, anyway?
> On the ground, Bulkor and Skultron had gathered up all of
> the residents of Urami into what had been the Angel Grove Youth
> Center, Gym, and Juice Bar, a place that they had spent a lot of
> time in when they were humans.
ADAM: If they get hit by food, I'm leaving.
AISHA: You wish.
> "Bulkor, why does this place look so familar to me?"
> Skultron asked, removing his skull mask.
> "I dunno. Maybe we lived here in a past life." Bulkor
> grunted. They didn't know that their memories as Bulk and Skull
> had been erased by Zedd when they became henchmen.
TOMMY: Which took all of five seconds.
> Outside, the new Rangers teleported into the center of the
> city. Skeksis attempted to stamp the Rangers out of existence,
> but the nimble youth rolled out of the way.
ROCKY: You know, this is beginning to read like a lemon.
KIM: For once, I think we'll be spared that indignity.
> "Whoa! Watch it!" Alejandro yelped. BEEP, BEEP, BEEPBEEP,
> BEEP! "Yeah, Zordon?"
> "Tommy, er, Alejandro, my scanners show that Bulkor and
> Skultron have innocent civilians trapped in the Youth Center."
> Alpha reported.
> "OK." Alejandro looked at his friends. "Guys, you
> heard'em. You go after those people and I'll handle Skeksis." He
ordered.
> "Are you sure you'll you be OK?" Kiko asked. "Maybe one of
> us should stay with you and help you fight.
> "I'll be OK. I can handle Skeksis.
ADAM: For I am the invincible WHITE RANGER! Hear the theme music from
"Superman?"
TOMMY: Am I really that bad?
> Just get those people!"
> Then, Alejandro took a deep breath. "FALCON NINJA ZORD, POWER
> UP!"
> Like a white comet, the Falcon Zord streaked through the
> dark skies of Angel Grove/Urami. It emitted an ear-shattering cry.
> After ten thousand years, the Falcon Zord was airborn again.
KIM: <Rita> After ten thousand years, I'm FREE!
ROCKY: You know, you're disturbingly good at that.
> "Kewl!" Alejandro jumped up onto the Zord and entered it.
> "This is great!" Alejandro executed a roll over, exhilerating in
> the thrill of flying at super sonic speeds.
AISHA: Um, not to nag or anything, but what about the monster?
> :Foolish Ranger!: Skeksis swiped at the Falcon with his
> claws. Alejandro dodged the blow, suffering only a few scratch
> marks on the metal surface of his new Zord.
> * * * *
> The other Rangers burst into the Youth Center. People and
> putties alike scattered.
> "The Power Rangers!"
> "I don't believe it!"
> "I thought that they were dead!"
ROCKY: We got better!
> "They've come back to free us from Lord Zedd's rule!" The
> people cheered.
> "Everyone, leave here, now. We'll handle Bulkor and
> Skultron." Ookami shouted over the excited din.
> "C'mon, people!" Mikazuki and Seijaku motioned the
> frightened people through the front door. "That's it, don't
> rush, we'll get you out."
> "You stupid Rangers, you'll pay for that!" Bulkor growled.
<Rangers snicker.>
KIM: Pot. Kettle. Black.
> He aimed his laser cannon.
> "Thunder Whip!" Kiko yelled and lashed out with her weapon.
> It wrapped around the laser cannon and yanked it out of Bulkor's
> hands.
> "Mommy!" Bulkor whimpered, cradling his injured hand. The
> former bully backed away from the fearsome Pink Ranger.
<Rocky, Adam, and Tommy start to snicker.>
KIM: What? What's so funny? I'm fearsome!
TOMMY: Only on PMS.
KIM: TOMMY NO BAKA! <Smack!>
TOMMY: Owww...
> "Get out of here!" Koomoriko yelled. The two villians
> vanished in a flash of light.
> "GUYS, I NEED HELP OUT HERE!" Alejandro cried over their
> communicators.
ROCKY: Preferably of the psychological type.
> * * * *
> Alejandro raked his talcons across Skeksis's ugly face. The
> monster wailed with pain and flung his arms about. Then, he
> snagged the White Ranger's Zord, impaling it on his massive
> claws.
> "Oh, no!" Seijaku cried.
ADAM: IMAGINE the stain on the upholstery!
> "WE NEED NINJA ZORD POWER!" The Rangers called upon their
> new Zords.
> The air filled with a symphony of growls, snarls, shierks,
> and howls as the Ninja Zords gathered from the far corners of the
> earth.
> "Alright!" Mikazuki laughed. "These Zords are cool!"
> "Affirmative." Ookami nodded his head.
BILLY: ARGHH!
> The five Ninja Zords stopped infront of their new masters
> and bowed. The new Rangers leapt into their new Zords. The
> interior immediately adjusted themselves to fit the new Rangers.
>
> Then, they "morphed" into the Mega Ninja Zord. The frog
> made the legs and lower body, the bear was the upper body, the
> wolf and ape were the legs, and the crane was the head.
ADAM: Form feet and legs!
ROCKY: Form arms and body!
TOMMY: And I'll form- THE HEAD!
> "POWER UP!" the Rangers yelled.
> The enormous robot grabbed Skeksis and broke off the claw
> that held their friend. Alejandro flew out of the town and crash
> landed by the lake. The weight of the Falcon Zord crushed a tiny
> log cabin.
> "Oh, no!" Alejandro wailed. "My home!"
> "Get up, Alejandro. We needcha!" Mikazuki yelled.
> "OK! WE NEED MEGA NINJA FALCON ZORD POWER NOW!"
BILLY: Unfortunately, the transformation call took so long that the monster crushed him into the soil.
> The Falcon
> Zord connected to the back of the Mega Ninja Zord. Alejandro's
> seat slid out of the Falcon Zord's cockpit and into the Mega
> Zord's. "Koomoriko, prepare the secret weapon! Guys, cross your
> legs! GO!"
KIM: THIS was cheap.
AISHA: Not to mention a REALLY tired joke.
> The Mega Ninja Falcon Zord raised one leg and kneed Skeksis
> in the groin. The monster doubled over with a howl of pain. The
> male Rangers winced in sympathy.
> "FIRE ALL WEAPONS!" Alejandro ordered.
> The Mega Ninja Falcon Zord fired every weapon at the
> helpless monster. The explosion rocked the town as the monster died
a
> firy death.
> "Way to go!" Alejandro congratulated his friends. "Let's
> teleport back to the Command Center!"
TOMMY: The city's on fire, but who cares?
> * * * *
> "I can't believe it!" Zedd snarled. "Those pesty Rangers are
> back!" His minions wisely cowared in a cornor. "Well, you might
> have won this battle, but, I will win the war!"
KIM: What was that Zordon said about there being no normal around here anymore?
> * * * *
> CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FIRST VICTORY, RANGERS. Zordon said
> when they teleported into the Command Center.
> "Yeah, we won, but," Alejandro closed his eyes. "I lost my
> home. Where can I stay?"
> "Where are your parents?" Alpha asked.
> "I'm an orphan. My parents died three years ago, when I was
> twelve." The White Ranger wiped the tears that formed from his
> eyes. "And, I don't have any other family."
RANGERS: Riiiiiight.
AISHA: Twelve years old, living in a war zone, no family- Heck, he's
probably valedictorian!
> Zordon smiled at the young Ranger. WE HAVE A ROOM HERE THAT
> NO ONE IS STAYING IN. THAT IS IF YOU WANT IT.
> Alejandro brightened. "Do you mean it?"
> YES.
> "Alright! Well, let's go see my new home!"
> "Right this way, Alejandro."
> * * * *
> That night, Alejandro slipped out of his room to explore the
> Command Center. He found a strange chamber near his
> room and pushed the ornately carved door open. Inside, in glass
> coffins, rested the original Rangers.
ROCKY: <Singing> Someday my prince will come!
AISHA: Yeah, a FROG Prince.
ADAM: Don't tell me you've started believing what those slash writers
say about us.
> They didn't look like wax dolls, like Alejandro's parents had
> when they died. They looked like they were sleeping. The new
> White Ranger couldn't see any evidence of the fatal wounds that
> had killed them or any signs of decay. They were perfectly preserved
> at the peak of their lives.
KIM: Does anyone else find this just a TAD morbid?
> "Tommy," Alejandro whispered and kneeled in front of Tommy
> Oliver's coffin. "I promise, we will free this world from Lord
> Zedd's evil rule. Your soul can rest now."
> Alejandro crept out of the Crypt and didn't see the tiny
> smile that creased Tommy's face. . . .
<Rangers all begin humming the theme song to "Tales From the Crypt.">
> THE END
TOMMY: Come on, guys, ikimashoo.
<Rangers rise and leave the theater.>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kimberly watched anxiously as the Blue Ranger ran a scanning device
over her boyfriend. "What's with him, Billy? Tommy doesn't KNOW Japanese,
and he's beginning to scare me."
"Anata? Boku wa Nihongo o shirimasen! Ima Eigo o hanasu koto ga dekimasen!"
Tommy cried. Kimberly blinked.
"What?"
"He said, 'You? I don't know Japanese! And now I can't speak English!'"
Adam replied. The others turned to regard him in shock, and he held up
a small book.
"Japanese dictionary. I got- someone to sneak it up here after the
last April Richards fic."
Billy shrugged. "His problem is simple enough. The fic is leaking energy.
And since all of April Richards' Tommys are Japanese, Tommy has developed
the ability to speak the language.
"Ja, nani o shimasu ka?"
"Yeah, what should he do?"
Billy sighed. "I'm working on that."
Raising his hands, Rocky backed away slightly. "Don't look at me! I
only know a couple swear words!"
"I believe that a concentrated jolt of energy from the comm system
should displace the alien energies. And you'd better hurry, Tommy, before
your ability to understand English deteriorates too."
Quickly, the White Ranger crossed to the communications console and
thrust his hand into one of the energy receptacles. When the resulting
flash cleared, Tommy was shaking his head in a half-daze.
"Whoa. Did it work?" He brightened, hearing his own words. "Hey, I
guess it did."
Suddenly the screen flickered to life, showing Zedd glaring at them.
"Well, Power pests, I have about had it with you."
"Does this mean you'll send us home?" Kim asked perkily. Zedd snorted.
"Don't hold your breath. You're not getting out of here for a long
time. Not only do you refuse to break, but this last trick is the last
straw!"
Tommy and Billy exchanged glances. "What are you talking about, Zedd?"
the blue-clad genius asked.
"THIS!" Zedd turned away from the viewer, allowing the Rangers to see
Goldar holding forth in fluent Japanese.
Aisha raised a hand to her mouth. "Oops."
"I swear, Rangers, for this latest insult, you will pay! As soon as
I figure out how, at any rate. Goldar, push the button!"
"Nani?"
"Oh, never mind..."
<Snap.>