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In the not-too-distant future,
In Angel Grove CA,
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Were enjoying a quiet day.
Just sitting around in the park
When suddenly the sky went dark,
Lord Zedd ripped a hole in time and space,
And then the putties came and kicked them all into another plaaaace!
Zedd: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics,
"The worst I can find.
"They'll have to sit and read them all,
"And it oughtta blow their minds."
Now Zordon and Alpha search and scan
For Tommy and his friends.
They'll have to keep their sanity
Until the fanfics end.
Ranger Roll Call!
Tommy! (I'm the leader!)
Billy! (Affirmative!)
The New Guys! (HEY!)
Kiiiiiiim!
If you're wondering why adults don't know,
And other plotline facts,
Repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
"I should really just relax!"
For Mystery Ranger Theater 3000!
"Billy, are you sure this is going to work?" Tommy Oliver asked, looking
at his friend skeptically. Billy sighed.
"Not really, but I figure it's worth a shot. What's the worst that
can happen?"
Tommy shuddered. "Don't ever say that!"
The two of them were currently regarding one wall of their dimensional
prison, where Lord Zedd had them imprisoned, and was trying to break their
wills with cheesy fanfics.
"What are you two up to in here?" Kimberly Hart wanted to know, putting
an arm around her boyfriend's waist.
Billy turned to face her. "Well, I theorize that Zedd has us confined
in a time-looped dimension, one separated from the normal flow of time.
To interact with us, he is confined here as well. It's the only way he's
capable of keeping Zordon from eventually finding us. No time passes on
Earth."
"Which is why he hasn't attacked yet," Adam Park chipped in, also coming
over.
"Exactly. Well, it is my theory that a sufficient amount of electrical
energy applied to a certain point in this dimension will cause the temporal
bubble to backlash, freeing us- and trapping Zedd."
Rocky De Santos grinned. "I'd like to see that. Go for it, Billy."
The teen genius readied the battery charger he had modified. "Cross
your fingers, guys." Taking a deep breath, he applied the tool to the wall.
BOOOOOOM! Smoke filled the room. Aisha Campell coughed, waving the
fumes away from her face. "Did it work, Billy?" she wanted to know.
"NO!" Tommy growled. "And he nearly blew us all up!"
Billy choked. "Minor miscalculation. I think I can figure out what
I did wrong-"
"Save it," Tommy replied, as the red light on the communications computer
began to flash. "Pinky and the Brain are calling." Pushing his way through
the smoke, Tommy answered the hail.
"Well, Power Pipsqueaks, I see another escape attempt has blown up
in your face!" Lord Zedd laughed.
Rocky shrugged, as the rest of the Rangers joined their leader by the
console. "Can't blame a guy for trying- well, YOU probably can."
"Indeed I can, Rangers, but your pathetic attempts to secure freedom
amuse me. However, don't think it gets you out of the fanfic!"
"What type of torture do you have for them today, oh malevolent master?"
Goldar wanted to know.
"Another little gem by- April Richards! This is a short little piece
called "Team Spirit," and shows some actual evolution from the last piece
you read. Do you remember that?"
The Rangers groaned, all the answer Zedd needed.
"Good! Now into the theater, and I hope your brains leak out your ears!"
Throughout the dimension, the lights began to flash. "AUGHH! We've
got fanfic sign!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<Rangers file into theater and take seats>
AISHA: I missed the last one. What am I in for?
ADAM: Aisha, there are some things in life you're better off not knowing.
> "Team Spirit"
TOMMY: The newest Casper movie. He decides to join the football team.
KIM: Tommy, dear, don't give them any ideas, okay?
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
ROCKY: When Haim Saban counts sheep.
ADAM: More like cash cows.
>DISCLAIMER: OK, we all the drill by now. Nothing's mine, I get no money
from this
>OK? This is set right after Tommy joins the football team in the first
season. Oh,
>thanks to Lori for helping me to expand this story from the original
"Pep Rally." Also,
>the words used by the demon (including his name) come from the "Star
Trek Klingon
>Dictionary."
<All groan>
BILLY: Bad enough she's an otaku- she's a Trekkie, too?
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> A massive bon fire burned in the middle of a dead cornfield.
TOMMY: My God, we've landed in a Stephen King story!
> At the head of the fire stood a wooden stage with a podium and microphone
attached
>to it. On the left of the stage sat a long bench. The first string
of Angel Grove High's
>football team sat there. The boys were in full uniform. Cheerleaders
sat on a bench on
>the other side of the stage. On the stage, a small group of "dignitaries"
from Angel
>Grove clustered. Fans, family and friends gathered in the darkness.
AISHA: With butcher knives.
> One of the football players, Tommy Oliver, looked up at the stars.
ADAM: Jason had hit him over the head AGAIN.
> A bloated full moon hung over head.
KIM: Whoops, no, it's just Bulk.
> For once, Rita was quiet.
> *Man, I'm so bored! * Tommy groaned in his mind. *I almost wish Rita
would
>pull something so I wouldn't have to sit here and listen to the coach
pat himself on the
>back because we won last week's game and we're playing Stone Canyon
tonight...If he
>stops talking in time for the game that is! *
> Jason Lee Scott, the Red Ranger, and captain of the football team,
looked over at
>his friend. Jason smiled as Tommy fidgeted around. Tommy was not one
for sitting still.
> "Hey, bro," Jason whispered. "Chill out! The coach'll be done soon."
ROCKY: The recipe says so.
AISHA: ROCKY! Yuck!
> "Are you sure?" Tommy hissed back. "I think he enjoys taking all the
credit for
>any wins. And blaming some one else for any mistakes."
TOMMY: Hmm, sound like anyone we know?
ADAM: <Zedd> Goldar, you blasted nincompoop! The Rangers got away
again!
BILLY: <shudders> Adam, don't DO that!
> Jason shrugged his shoulders. "Typical dictator," He answered. "Don't
let the
>coach bug ya, Tommy."
> Tommy frowned at his football helmet. He checked out his watch. It
was 7:30
>and the game would start in about a half-hour. *And people bitch me
out for being late!
>Hell, if the game wasn't a home one, we'd be late and it would be
coach's fault. Not that
>_he'd_ be punished for being late. Or cause twenty people to be late.
*
> Just then the cheerleaders jumped up and started bouncing around.
ROCKY: That oughtta cheer him up.
> Tommy's girlfriend, and fellow Power Ranger, Kim Harte, was the head
cheerleader.
>The cheerleaders recently received new uniforms. The blue and yellow
skirts were
>shorter than before and flared out. A gentle breeze caused them to
fly up. Their tops
>were white, crop tops with an "A" surrounded by a halo: the symbol
of the Angel Grove
>Saints. They had also received new shoes: blue, high-heeled ankle
boots.
TOMMY: Do all female fanfic writers pay so much attention to clothes?
> Kim leaped in the air while the rest of the squad yelled out pro-Angel
Grove
>statements. Tommy tilted his head slightly and could see up her skirt.
He smiled and sat >back. Jason elbowed his best friend in the ribs, then
snorted.
> "You're supposed to be preparing to do battle against the Gophers,
not lusting >after your girlfriend," Jason laughed softly.
> "Frankly, I'd rather lust after Kim. I'm a lover not a fighter, Jase."
ADAM: <Jason> I know. I've seen you fight.
> Jason bit back more laughter.
> Suddenly, the coach and his assistant strung up a large straw mock
up of the
>Gophers' mascot. Everyone was quiet. The cheerleaders stood infront
of the stage.
> "What are they doing, Jase?" Tommy asked, worried. The temperature
seemed to
>drop several degrees. The Green Ranger shivered. The air had a slimy
feel to it.
> "Tradition," Jason answered in a dead voice.
ALL: <Singing> Tradition! Tradition!
> The crowd started counting, shouting out the numbers. "ONE! TWO! THREE!"
>Each time the crowd called out a number, the coach pulled harder on
the hanging straw >gopher. At "Three," the rope broke and the coach hurled
the poor gopher into the fire.
> "BURN! BURN! BURN!" The crowd yelled.
ADAM: When did they let Inferno into this fic?
>Even Tommy's normally calm
>parents were screaming and throwing their fists in the air. The Olivers,
a small blonde
>couple, often reminded their adopted son of a pair of kewpie dolls.
Right now, the pair
>looked more like possessed creatures. The fire reflected in their
pale blue eyes and they
>picked up rocks to throw at the burning gopher. One of the rocks missed
the gopher and
>struck Tommy in the cheek.
BILLY: Pep Rally as seen by H. P. Lovecraft.
ADAM: More like Heironemous Bosch.
> "Ouch!" Tommy yelped.
> The entire football team jumped to their feet, shrieking and stomping
their large
>feet. Even Jason, Billy, and Zach had joined in the madness. Tommy
looked at
>Kimberly and found the Pink Ranger tossing her pom poms in the fire,
hollering. Even
>quiet, serene Trini yelled and hooted, throwing a powerful fist into
the air.
> *Omigod! * Tommy thought. *Everyone has gone nuts! *
ROCKY: In this town, who'd notice?
> Since Tommy sat on the edge of the bench, no one saw him as he slipped
into the
>shadows. The insanity hung thick in the air. Tommy had to duck a few
flying objects.
>As soon as the crowd was worked up enough, the coach yelled "TO BATTLE!"
and
>pointed to the near by stadium. The team, sans Tommy, stormed onto
the field, the
>cheerleaders and fans following.
KIM: Stampede!
>Tommy paused at the fire's edge. A tiny bundle of fur lay at his feet.
Tommy scooped
>it up; it was the teddy bear his parents brought to the pep rally.
It was a beanie baby
>teddy dressed in a blue and white football uniform. His mother waved
the bear during
>the rally, much to Tommy's embarrassment. To make matters worse, the
Olivers
>showed it to his fellow Rangers. Jason spent the first fifteen minutes
of the game
>teasing Tommy about "Teddy."
TOMMY: Rocky, don't even think about it!
> *Mom must have dropped Teddy when they ran to the stadium, * Tommy
slipped
>the teddy bear into his shirt, under his shoulder pads. The bear fit
perfectly.
> The first strands of the school's fight song reached Tommy's ears.
He slipped the
>helmet and ran to the stadium. No one noticed when he quietly rejoined
the team. He
>looked up at Assistant Coach Lee Scott, Jason's dad. Tommy waited
for the muscular
>man's words of wisdom. Scott took a deep breath, then roared:
> "KILL!"
AISHA: Well, that was profound.
> The team dashed onto the field. They faced the Stone Canyon team.
Tommy
>frowned as he shivered again. Tommy knelt behind Jason and yelled
out the signals.
> "HUT!" Tommy yelled out and Jason passed him the ball. Suddenly,
Jason,
>Billy, and Zach plowed into the Gophers. A boy cried out in pain as
Jason drove into
>him. Tommy stood still as madness erupted around him. The Angel Grove
team
>abandoned the rules and chased down members of the Stone Canyon team,
slamming
>the other boys into the walls or stomping them.
BILLY: Are they playing football, or hockey?
> "STOP IT!" Tommy yelled as Jason strangled a boy. Tommy threw his
friend off
>the wounded player and helped the boy up. "You OK?" The boy nodded,
to frightened
>to speak. "Get out of here and call the police, OK?"
<All snicker>
ADAM: Right, the police. Since when have police in horror movies EVER
been able to find their rears with both hands?
>The boy scurried off to the gate, but a guard stopped him. Tommy felt
a trickle of sweat
>run down his spine as he watched the guard confront the boy. "No,"
Tommy whispered
>and ran towards him. Jason blocked his best friend.
> "Where do you think you're going, _bro_?" Jason sneered in a deep
voice. His
>eyes shone a dull red. Tommy backed away from his friend and leader.
> "Jason, what is going on?" Tommy asked.
ROCKY: <Jason> Got some really good LSD.
> "NO! HELP!" The boy screamed as the guard wrapped his fingers around
his
>throat. The scream gurgled and stopped when the guard crushed his
throat.
ALL: Eww...
KIM: Thank you, Wes Craven!
> "Jason! Dammit, bro, stop this!" Tommy pointed to the carnage on the
field.
>Most of the Stone Canyon's team lay injured or dying, staining the
artificial turf a
>reddish-brown.
TOMMY: You know, a little club soda will take that right out.
>The Angel Grove crowd joined the rampage. The parents and fans scrambled
into the
>field and up to the boxes that held the Stone Canyon fans. New howls
filled the stadium.
> Jason backed Tommy into the center of the field. Tommy took a deep
breath,
>then yelled:
> "STOP THIS, DAMN YOU!"
> The riot stopped.
AISHA: Wow, Tommy, you've got quite a set of lungs there.
> A dark red mist rose from the people of Angel Grove and hovered over
Jason. Then, it
>slammed into the Red Ranger.
> "Jason?" Tommy asked.
> "No," The voice hissed, rolling like metallic thunder. "I am Ghe"or
SuvwI', the
>Dishonored Warrior."
ROCKY: Gee- Gay- How the hell do you say that?
BILLY: Ghe"or SuvwI'. <clutches throat.> I think I broke something.
KIM: Looks like something spelled backwards.
> "What the hell do you want?" Tommy growled.
> "Hell," Ghe"or SuvwI' answered.
> *Great, * Tommy thought. *A demon with a language problem! *
> Aloud, Tommy responded: "Leave everyone one alone, Ghe"or SuvwI'!"
ADAM: Very forceful, Tommy. I think you've got him shaking in his boots.
> "No, Green One,"
AISHA: Guess he's not ripe yet.
> The demon shook Jason's head. The demon regarded Tommy briefly. "You
have great
>power. More than this one does," Ghe"or SuvwI' hammered Jason on the
chest.
BILLY: No kidding. He goes through 'em once a season.
> Tommy
>winced as he thought about the massive bruise Jason would have later.
"But, you should
>still be under my control! Why?"
ROCKY: You fall under everybody else's spells at the drop of a hat!
TOMMY: HEY!
> Tommy smirked. "Like I told Jase before. I'm a lover not a fighter."
> Ghe"or SuvwI' snarled and grabbed Tommy by the right wrist, crushing
the
>Communicator he wore under the sweat band. Green sparks and smoke
exploded from
>the broken device.
> "Damn," Tommy gritted his teeth.
ADAM: Third one this week.
> Ghe"or SuvwI' pointed to Tommy and chanted the word "bIj." A ball
of black
>and red lightning shot towards Tommy. Tommy froze as the mass of death
hurdled
>towards him. Suddenly, a bright flare of Green surrounded Tommy, absorbing
most of
>the Energy.
BILLY: And apparently converting it into excess capitals.
>The demon howled, then hissed "nIS!"
KIM: Keep talking like that, and I'll have to wash your mouth out with soap.
> The ground under Tommy shook then rose into a pillar, slamming Tommy
down.
>Tommy winced as he felt his ribs break from impact. His helmet cracked
and fell away
>from his head. Tommy's vision blurred as the demon pointed again and
yelled "bagh!"
> Bands of energy surrounded Tommy, squeezing him. Pain shot through
out his
>body as the bands tightened their grip on him. He could smell his
own flesh burning.
ALL: Ewww...
> "Now, Green One, you will die!" Ghe"or SuvwI' gloated. "baH!"
> A lightning missile formed in the demon's hands. He launched it at
the helpless
>Ranger. Tommy closed his eyes and prepared to die. Suddenly, he felt
a tingling in his
>brain.
ROCKY: I won't say it. Too easy.
> "No," Tommy whispered. He knew this tingling. During battles, a Power
he
>hasn't used since his evil Green Ranger days demanded release;
ROCKY: Release, huh?
AISHA: Don't even THINK about it.
> Tommy's personal demon, in a way. *As soon as that thing is out of,
Jase. * Tommy
>agreed with the Power.
> Tommy dropped to the ground and the missile flew overhead. It impacted
into
>the now empty stands. Pieces of shrapnel dug into Tommy's body. The
bands dissolved.
>Tommy forced himself to stand up.
> "It's your turn, Ghe"or SuvwI'!" Tommy roared. He tackled his best
friend's
>body. Jason gasped,
ROCKY: Tommy, this is so sudden!
KIM: BAKA!
> a red mist escaping from his body. *Gotcha! * Tommy thought grimly.
> Ghe"or SuvwI' hovered over the field. "HoH!"
BILLY: Isn't that the chemical formula for water?
> The demon snarled. Energy built up around the being.
> "PYROBLAST!" Tommy yelled, calling on the Power inside him. A ball
of
>Green energy formed in Tommy's hands. "FIRE!" He launched the ball
towards the
>demon just seconds before Ghe"or SuvwI' could release his pent up
Energies. The
>demon flew into the air. His body expanded with the overload. Green
and red lights
>shot out of the demon. A deep rumble filled the stadium.
ADAM: <Bored> Oh, an earthquake.
KIM: Not like we're in California or anything.
> "NO!" Ghe"or SuvwI' wailed as the explosion ripped his body apart.
> The force of the blast knocked Tommy to the ground. He watched as
a
>shimmering rain fell onto the turf, then passed out.
TOMMY: The rain passed out?
AISHA: Hold on, Tommy, it's almost over.
> * * * * *
>
> Tommy slowly opened his eyes. A bright light shone overhead.
KIM: Head towards the light...
BILLY: We can only wish.
> "Hey, bro," He heard Jason's voice near by.
> "Wha?" Tommy opened his blurry eyes farther. He tried to sit up,
but a wave of
>pain and nausea forced him back down. "Oohh..."
> "Take it easy, bro," Jason said. "You've been out for three days."
> "What happened?" Tommy gasped out. "Is Ghe"or SuvwI' gone?"
> "Who?" Jason raised an eyebrow.
> "The Dishonored Warrior..." Tommy started, but Jason cut him off.
ROCKY: It's the drugs talking. I know.
> "I don't know what you're talking about. There was an explosion at
the game.
>Some fireworks went off early. Many people where hurt. Some even died.
When the
>fireworks went off, the people rushed to get out. Many were trampled
during that."
>Jason explained. "You were near Ground Zero when the fire works went
off. The
>doctors were afraid you were gonna die. You were running a high fever
and suffered
>from a skull fracture, among other things."
AISHA: Why would Tommy having a skull fracture worry them? It's not like he has anything important up there.
> "You don't remember?" Tommy whispered. "At the pep rally, you guys
went
>nuts. All of you. You tried to kill the Stone Canyon guys."
> Jason laughed softly and placed a cool cloth on Tommy's forehead.
"Man, you
>must have had one hell of a fever dream, Tommy."
> "It wasn't..." Tommy protested, but Jason cut him off.
> "Here's your communicator, bro. Billy fixed it for you. It have been
damaged
>during the explosion." Jason put the communicator on Tommy's thin
wrist.
> "Thanks."
BILLY: Not like I ever remember to WEAR it, but thanks.
> "Well, I'm gonna go. You get some rest," Jason ordered, then left.
> As soon as Jason was gone, Tommy forced himself to sit up. He uttered
a cry
>when a large, white tiger confronted him.
KIM: AUGH! Foreshadowing! Run for your lives!
> It was a plush animal. A big green ribbon hung around its neck. Tommy
read the
>attached card.
> "To Tommy, Get well soon. Love Mom and Dad," Tommy read aloud. He
shook
>his head, then regretted it as pain exploded through his body. "Damn."
> The Green Ranger stood on shaky legs, then teleported to the Command
Center.
>
> "Ai yi yi yi yi!" Alpha cried out when Tommy appeared in a hospital
gown.
>"Tommy, you should be resting!"
AISHA: Like he ever listens to anybody.
> "Zordon, what really happened at the pep rally on Friday?" Tommy demanded.
> GHE'OR SUWVI' POSSESSED THE PLAYERS AND FANS AT THE GAME.
> "I thought so! But why doesn't anyone else remember?"
> WHEN THE DEMON REMOVED HIS INFLUENCE FROM THE PEOPLE, HE
>ALSO TOOK THEIR MEMORIES OF WHAT HAPPENED.
ADAM: Geez, it's like the ending to an episode of the X-Files.
> "So, they just decided that it was an accidental misfiring of the
fireworks and
>that's that?" Tommy frowned.
> I'M AFRAID SO, TOMMY.
> Tommy stumbled. Alpha held him up while Zordon teleported the Green
Ranger
>back to his hospital bed. Tommy was unconscious by the time he rematerialized
in his
>bed.
>
> THE END
TOMMY: Well, that was pointless. Come on, let's go.
<All file out of the theater>
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The Rangers were clustered in the living room area, minus Billy, who
was still trying to reverse the force bubble. "I know this fanfic didn't
make much sense anyway," Rocky began, "But there's one thing I'm kinda
confused about."
"What's that, Rocko?" Tommy wanted to know.
"Well, the people passed off the damage done to the Stone Canyon team
as the result of an explosion, right? But how could an exploding firework
account for the injuries? I mean, she specifically said there was a lot
of blood. Explosions BURN everything."
Aisha nodded. "You know, Rocky, that's a pretty good point. Maybe they
only saw what was consistent with the holes in their memories."
"Maybe Zordon covered it up," Adam couldn't resist adding.
"Maybe she just didn't care," Tommy finished. The rest of the Rangers
nodded. Suddenly the red light on the console began to flash.
"What do you want, Zedd?" Tommy asked, as the screen flickered on.
"I just dropped by to see if you were all still sane. What a pity that
you are." Zedd cocked his head. "Where is your brainy Blue Ranger?"
"I've got it!" Billy yelled. "I hope." There was an electric shock,
a huge flash, and when the light cleared, Zedd and Goldar were looking
distinctly frazzled.
Kim threw a look over her shoulder. "Billy? What happened?"
"Minor miscalculation," he mused, coming out of the back room. "Apparently
the fabric of the dimension is an excellent electrical conductor." The
teen genius stopped, catching sight of the still-smoking Zedd and Goldar.
"Whoops," he said innocently. "Did I do that?"
After a long struggle to reply, Zedd turned to his henchmonkey. "Push
the button, Goldar," he sputtered. Goldar just nodded, reaching out and
turning off the post.
That's it! Please mail me and tell me what you think! Oh, and thanks to April Richards for being such a good sport about all of this and offering her fanfics up to be MiSTed.